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In the latest episode of the Angry Video Game Nerd, the title character refers to two of the pixelated video game characters as “asexual twins”. James Rolfe(AVGN) did not elaborate on why he chose to use the word asexual to describe characters meant to be the Biblical Adam & Eve.

Rolfe produces and stars in the AVGN videos, reviews films and is in the process of creating his first film. The video in question can be viewed at Screw Attack.

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I’ve become a huge fan of Assassin’s Creed video games and noticed a possible asexual link. The plot of the game is that Desmond Miles is kidnapped by Abstergo because with the help of the Animus DNA can be used to access and relive memories of ancestors. Desmond has particular ancestors that were Assassin’s and an interest to Abstergo.

The first game in the series features Altair and takes place in the Holy Land around 1191 courtesy of the Animus. Not much is known about the Assassin Altair and there is no record of his death. There are even rumors amongst fans of the series that Altair is actually alive in the year 2012. As for Altair’s sexuality, he did belong to an order which would be appealing to an asexual, but he also must have produced offspring in order for Desmond to exist in the first place. Belonging to an order or having children simply can’t be indicator of sexuality one way or another, regardless as any statistics that could be drawn up. Altair’s personal life is never touched upon, so there is no way of knowing.

As an assassin it is Altair’s mission to hunt down what have become historical figures such as William V Marques of Monferrat, Abul Nuqoud, Grand Master of the Teutonic Order, Garnier de Naplouse and others. These assassinations are ordered by the leader of the Assassins, Al Mualim. As it would turn out Al Mualim had sinister intentions all along and Altair must face him in battle. Al Mualim is now in possession of the artifact known as the Apple of Eden that grants whoever holds it great power. One of those powers is the ability reproduce asexually. Al Mualim is able to create at least 7 identical copies of himself. There is also a glitch in the game where an enemy on a rooftop keeps multiplying. That seems like a pretty specific glitch.

In the second game Desmond Miles is broken out of Abstergo to a safe house with a more efficient Animus. This time the memories of Ezio Auditore da Firenze ar accessed during the timeframe of the late 1500s in Italy. Leonardo da Vinci is helpful as is Niccolo Machiavelli. Many other legitimate figures appear in the game including the Medici Family. Unlike Altair, Ezio’s sexuality is very present and he is quite the womanizer. I’m certain there are asexual womanizers out there but Ezio isn’t one of them. Up until he becomes an Assassin, his top priority is bedding beautiful Italian women in his hometown of Florence or wherever he found himself

The finale of Assassin’s Creed II had Ezio holding the Apple of Eden and Borgia the main villain, with a different artifact in the Papal Staff. This time it’s Ezio who uses the apple for asexual reproduction which aids him in victory. This is an ongoing trend in the final battle of both games. Does it even mean anything about the asexuality that I usually write about? Has this blog been a total waste of time being the nonsense that it is? Probably so.

For reil though in the mythology of Assassin’s Creed a former subject, known only as subject 16, has left clues within the animus for future subjects to discover. These clues reveal Adam & Eve, with the Apple of Eden, running in a bizarre, advanced world. The biblical accounts of Adam and Eve’s relationship with the Apple of Eden shed an entirely different light on the aforementioned asexual reproduction which is a recurring phenomenon in the game.
Here is a particular passage from the fall of man of God’s words to Eve:

To the woman he said: “I will intensify the pangs of your childbearing; in pain shall you bring forth children.
-Genesis 3:16

So eating the Apple of Eden held the consequences of painful childbirth, which begs the question of what childbirth would have been like had the forbidden fruit never been eaten. Beings as the Apple of Eden in the game held the power to reproduce asexually, perhaps there is a connection. I would imagine asexual reproduction to be painless compared to the the sexual method. Is it possible that the original design was to have man reproduce asexually? Beings as Eve was created out of Adam’s rib that I would consider asexual reproduction, and that was well before the fall.

As mentioned in the first paragraph Assassin’s Creed is only based on true events. Details are added that aren’t historically accurate. The historical events in the Garden of Eden are embellished on in the storyline of the video game. It’s just a theory of mine I thought I’d like to share. This will not be unresolved as this fall Ubisoft releases Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood, which continues the story and who knows? Maybe my theory will come true. From what I understand the ending of this game is supposedly mind-blowing.

AC: Brotherhood features multiplayer online games, the first in the series to do so. Anyone interested in joining the author for a game or two when this launches feel free to contact me and we can form an asexual alliance. Anyone can preorder Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood and there is also preorder Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood Limited Codex Edition.