One of the things about Asexuality that some outsiders cannot grasp is why such a point is being made out of identifying as A. After all, we are making a big deal about something not happening. If we do not feel sexual attraction, then why would there be the need to draw attention to that aspect of our lives? This is this is a fair question. I’ve heard the analogy all over the place that people who don’t follow football don’t organize and identify as Afootballers. While no such group exists, if it were to ever happen afootballers would totally have the right to organize and make themselves recognized, but I digress.

There are actually many asexuals, who also do not understand why other ace would amplify something that they lack. These individuals are perfectly content without being part of a visibility movement. There is no need to be understood. No desire to classify their nonsexual natures as a sexuality in itself. I see no problem with this, and I have my reasons for behaving otherwise, as do those who are organizing the community, Many find it annoying to hear someone identifying themselves as yet another label they now have to refer to us as asexuals in order to appease political correctness. Then there are others who find it downright pretentious as if it were some new-age religion. I never thought that there wouldn’t be misconceptions about Asexuality, and they will continue for sometime. This is a gradual process and it’s going very well, and I would hypothesize that Asexuality is the fasting growing sexuality in the world.

Truth is there are a number of very valid motives for why we would want to make it known who we are. These may not be reasons the aforementioned outsiders will entirely accept, but they are certainly driving forces in why asexuals organize. So here are seven that come to mind.

1-Recognition- by organizing, asexuals are using the tactic of numbers. There is indeed power in numbers. By showing the that there are a significant number of us. This does create visibility and through that recognition, which is important for most. Being recognized as a group brings credibility to an aspect of an individuality.

2-Education- With Asexuality being as misunderstood as it is to so many, great efforts have been made to get information to the proper outlets to make the public aware of what our sexuality actually is. As stated earlier this is something that massive success has been reached in, but it’s only through continued and consistent efforts will the desired scope of visibility be attained. Patience and persistence is the key.

3-Science- While education is a major goal for the asexual movement, there is much we cannot educate about because it is not yet known. There are various theories about Asexuality and many of them have merit, but untested that can only be regarded as speculation. Qualified professionals using the scientific method can determine definite answers to a good number of the unanswered questions. Let’s hope there is a rise in the number of studies being done, because there aren’t many in the books at this time.

4- Support- being able to relate to others about an issue that otherwise was dealt with alone is experienced freedom. Having others to share the heartbreak and triumphs of being ace is therapeutic and can change us for the better. The community is definitely a blessing for the support system in place and a very warm and welcoming group at that. It’s an easy place to make friends and makes one happy to be an asexual. Support for asexuals is only one benefit, organization will give friends, family and partners of asexuals an outlet to understand and learn about those that they love.

5-Political- at an estimated 1% of the population, but probably significantly higher, you wouldn’t think that asexuals could attain much political sway, but organizing politically is actually a smart idea. First, it’s visibility. Second it’s a message that asexuals vote. Since much of the population doesn’t vote, this brings our political presence to a higher level and we occupy say five percent of the vote. Five percent of a vote is enough to get a 3rd party respectability, media attention and even a spot in some debates. That five percent can easily double, triple more if we not only vote, but also tap into our personal contacts and use our sphere of influence to capture more clout. Being politically active asexuals can be a powerful tool.

6 -Partners- Romantic asexuals often desire to be in relationships with other asexuals. The network that has formed is making it easier to find eligible ace to date. Without organizing, it would be nearly impossible to find others who are A. Even with the community that currently exists, it’ extremely challenging to find a compatible mate. Further community organizing will make this easier and easier.

7 – Reaching Others- The majority of those who would probably identify as asexuals do not even know about the community, and they would be much happier if they did. If there are 7 billion people on the planet then that would mean there are 70 million asexuals on Earth. So many have yet to discover asexuality, and that is the frontier of expansion. Our “manifest destiny”! Finding a community one can relate to is a turning point in many of our lives and by reaching out to others we are helping others progress into their true selves. There has been a great deal of organization on the internets, and to a lesser extent, the real world. The word is spreading rapidly and the entire scene will experience a surge.

There are of course more reasons to organize, but these seven are the ones I am able to come up with now. If anyone can think of more let me know and perhaps I’ll write a sequel in the future.


On an interesting happening, a certain advice columnist and wannabe podcast host who has recently spoke quite ignorantly about asexuals has had his  weekly column left out of my city’s weekly newspaper. Perhaps it was an oversight or maybe it didn’t make deadline, however I’d like to believe that it was intentionally left out due to polite complaints by asexuals and supporters  Time will tell!

In other good news, I was finally able to transfer and continue my career within walking distance of my residence. Goodbye commute! I am going to miss the people I’ve worked with and served for years and will especially be missing a flirtationship I have been having throughout this period. A flirtationship is a rapport with someone that is not a relationship, but does involve consistent flirting over a period of time. Those involved in a flirtationship may or may not want to take it further. It’s not a bad arrangement for an asexual. Many times, flirtationships end when they become relationships. Other times, one or all parties become disinterested and it comes to a halt that way. In this particular case neither of these is the case. It’s all circumstantial. I am not interested in taking it to another level. All good things must come to an end. I don’t actually believe this but it is certainly a good thing that is coming to an end

Reflecting on this experience, I can certainly say that I had an advantage in that sexual tension was on my side, as it usually is in these situations. Still, being cautious was key as there is a line that doesn’t need to be crossed. It’s never a good idea to “heat up” a sexual person unless one plans to make some serious compromises! I’ve made sure to not get too heavy and use all eye contact, facials, and body language in that level of the flirtation. The verbal end of it on my part was playful teasing, about mundane details about personality, clothing, habits, hairstyle, and similar material.

So how does a person behave when a flirtationship ends abruptly like the one in question is about to do. Should I just go about my business as usual and leave unceremoniously? An emotional goodbye that is the antithesis of the casual nature of our time together? Do I call out sick the final week to avoid the situation altogether? Decisions, Decisions, oh what a ponder!

All I can do is use the one thing that will never fail me. Asexual Prowess. I’ve discovered that I have sharp asexual prowess that I can use to solve problems like this. By going with what feels natural, my asexual prowess kicks itself into motion. Through asexual prowess my mind will be in the clear and I will maintain a calm outlook to aid in the all important decision-making process.

Earlier today, I agreed to go out on a date. It would seem that I have an admirer nearby, however I’ve no idea who it is. A neighbor set up the idea, which is all it is at this point, like a feeling-out process. Whether this “date” will happen or not isn’t even known at this point, all I know is I’m game. Either way.

The reason I would be willing to do this is not because I want to meet a person who has excellent taste, but to do it for an experience. In the past, before I became comfortable with being asexual, the concept of a date was unappealing because of the overtones it radiates. I’ve had a fair share of encounters and it was as if I had some responsibility to play the appropriate part while on a date, although today I realize that any such expectations would be irrational.

The idea of going on a date with a random person that already likes me would seem like a fun night. While I don’t know if this date will even happen, it certainly got my mind thinking about how I would conduct myself. I am not assuming that this is a sexual person, for all I know my admirer could be A..but I dream! In the case this person is sexual, well I’ve got a few ace cards up my sleeve.

Many times sexual individuals will try to change asexual people, and I’m prepared for this to happen at any time. To officially make this a piece about sports, I’m going to quote the adage “The best defense is a good offense”. Why do asexual people have to be the one that get changed? I will be able to figure out if my admirer is sexual before she figures I’m an asexual, so I could try to change her before her even knows what’s going on. I would have to be so charming that she would forget about sex, and that’s a reasonable objective.

I certainly don’t have to worry about sex on a first date as “etiquette” would put sex on the third date. This probably isn’t followed in the dating world, but it can certainly be taken advantage of by ace. The luxury of knowing that you have a fee dates before sex is “supposed” to happen is refreshing to know.

Flirting, of course, will be present on a date, and that is something that shouldn’t necessarily be especially a problem for ace. Sexual and asexual individuals both share diversity when it comes to many things including flirtation skills. Some of us are born with it, for the others it can be learned.

Body language is something to pay attention to and also something to project as well. This can be learned with practice also. In the case of sexual tension, that is something that ace can use to their advantage. The aforementioned 3-date etiquette leaves much wiggle room for ace to be ace. The first two dates are homecourt advantage for asexuals, and that is plenty opportunity to charm someone into becoming addicted to a personality and/or forgetting about all things sexual altogether.

Thank you for the opportunity to share my day and hope you liked my dating strategy! Thank you WordPress!

In a recent advice column Savage Love, there was a positive response to a seemingly asexual couple. This is a column that is in syndication to weekly newspapers across the country with a heavy following, so it’s good exposure. Asexuality has been mentioned before in this column, but because this is recent, the latest as of “press time” in fact. I feel the responsibility to do a cut and paste job here, along with doing commentary because I don’t feel that nonsexual people would come across the column, even though I have been for a long time. So by isolating the one particular Q&A, those who don’t want to read the entire column are free from that . Anyway here is the situation that a reader wanted advice about from the columnist, Dan Savage about.

In a recent column you wrote, “If you’re not having sex with your boyfriend, or anyone else, and there’s no sex in your foreseeable future, ANB, that’s not monogamy—that’s celibacy.” I have been with my girlfriend for nine years, living together for seven. We have never had sex. At the beginning we fooled around a lot, but never went far. Now, like many couples who have been together for a while, the frequency has decreased. We go beyond kissing a few times a year, and never all that far. I am mostly okay with this: I take care of myself as necessary. We never talk about sex at all. We’ve moved back and forth across the country together and are otherwise committed. Is it ridiculous to leave sex out of the relationship?

Sexless And Seemingly Content

The couple seems asexual to me, though they obviously don’t know that there are others like them out there and that there is a lifestyle called Asexuality. The man that is asking for advice probably wouldn’t have written Savage had he known of Asexuality. While many of us experience an amazing liberation when we discover Asexuality, we also find difficulty finding an asexual partner. This situation is inverted with Asexuality as a lifestyle being unknown, while they have already both found an asexual partner in each other. I wonder how they would feel to learn of Asexuality together. Not only would they both feel the liberation asexuals like myself have felt, they would have someone to share it with that they already have a deep emotional bond with. Let’s see what Dan has to say and hopefully I didn’t outshine him…

If you’re happy and your girlfriend’s happy, SASC, then I’m happy. Two people in a bad relationship can have plenty of great sex; two people in a great relationship can have little sex or no sex. Sex is a metric for assessing the health of a relationship, but it’s not the only one. When two people come together who love each other and are compatible sexually—which can mean a shared interest in sex or a shared disinterest in sex—the angels sing, SASC. All that matters, again, is that you’re both happy.

This is well put and reassuring, although it would have been helpful for it to be mentioned that there is an asexual community as the columnist definitely is aware of it as he’s covered it before had even had at least one guest columnist who identified as asexual. Dan Savage continues…

But are you happy, SASC? You say that you are, and I’ll take your word for it, but there’s a lot of wiggle room in the “mostly” in this sentence: “I am mostly okay with this.” You owe it to yourself to determine if you are really and truly okay with living without sex—and if the girlfriend is too.

While this isn’t bad advice as it is crucial to value and understand the other person in a relationship as much as possible, I sense a little doubt from Dan that a couple could be happy living this way, but I really can’t get upset for someone giving advice that he was solicited for in an advice column that I may or may not choose to read. I believe that SASC was simply looking for validation of his lifestyle with his girlfriend, and instead of steering them and anyone else reading in the direction of the asexual community, he choose not to even mention Asexuality at all. I’m simply disappointed at the route the columnist chose to take, although I am thankful for the question making it to print and the reaction being “mostly” positive.

In conversations with other ace, it is realized that there are certain fascinations that we have that the rest of the world does not. One of the fascinations that I’ve noticed is that of writing utensils, and it’s one I can very easily relate to. When I find myself having to use a pen that I am not in love with, I feel that I am somehow missing out of the quiddity of the writing experience. In fact I’ve been known to carry around many pens because I never know which one I’ll be in the mood to use. Ballpoint, roller-gel and even fountain pens are all within my arsenal of ink-pens

I wish I could introduce you to my entire tribe of pens, but it would be too exhausting for both myself and anyone who had to read it so I’m not going to be taking that route. Instead I’m choosing to put one single pen in the spotlight, and that beauty is known as the Plumix. Manufactured by Pilot this fountain pen appears to be marketed towards college students. Most fountain pens are not designed to appeal the youthful, and I had to snatch a few of these right up.

Loading the ink cartridges is more fun than should be allowed, and I cannot wait until the next refill. It features a screw on cap, which protects it from falling off and being lost forever.plumix The sleek, ergonomic design and transparent body make for an absolutely stunning writing utensil. It doesn’t take very long to get used to writing with the Plumix, and it’s every pen-stroke is satisfying beyond imagination.

The bad news is this pen has been discontinued by Pilot, so if anyone is blessed with the opportunity to procure this marvel of the ages realize that it may your last.

I’m taking this opportunity to recognize Pentecost Sunday, celebrating the beginning  of the Christian Church by the coming of the Holy Spirit, which has been changing hearts ever since. For those unfamiliar with the celebration, here is a passage describing it’s roots. It must be noted that the apostle Paul is extremely likely to have been asexual, as evident in the epistles he wrote.

Acts 2

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed toPentecost be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. Utterly amazed, they asked: “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?” Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine”

Hoping those that welcome the Holy Spirit are filled with it abundantly today!

I need to warn anyone reading this, because I’m about to relay my thoughts on the pop sensation Lady Gaga, the artist responsible for the high energy Just Dance and the cryptic Poker Face. I’m going to help the little guy out right now and try to help stimulate the magazine industry, because the people that work there are losing their livelihood to hack bloggers like myself and others. You can now catch Gaga gracing the cover and within the pages of the current issue of Rolling Stone(Brian Hiatt, issue1080 for posterity).

I honestly didn’t like Gaga too much in the past, as she would always be gaga4responsible for eye-roll worthy statements such as the time she mentioned having unprotected sex with her songs. Of course, I understand that quotes like that are targeted at a certain audience, but I don’t take that kind of marketing seriously. I’ve now found myself able to get over this side of Lady Gaga, as I can see past that and understand Gaga better. I see the beautiful person underneath that façade.

Apparently Gaga was proclaimed the new princess of pop by Perez Hilton, and Madonna along with Cyndi Lauper were in attendance during her“coronation”. Gaga appears to take a risky route and challenge gender constructs. I’m aware the music industry is oversaturated with that, but it’s just not suitable for the “Princess of Pop”. Or is it?

“I like boys that look like girls” she said. Again the music industry is over-saturated with this, so this leaves Gaga with quite a pool of eligible boys to choose from. Reports also indicate that the pop princess does not mind her own look being considered androgynous. She was able to laugh off a remark about having the body of a Barbie and the face of a Ken in a parody of Poker Face or instead “Butter Face”. The icing on the cake is that she’d rather look interesting than pretty. She certainly pulls off interesting with her experimental fashion taste. Some real unique threads going on there.

Well Lady Gaga, you’ve sure proved me wrong this time! Let’s hope this all pays off for you diva!

I’m actually going to write about sports. I’ve never been heavy into sports, and for the most point found them a tremendous waste of time. I’ve recently became a fan of a sport that is perfect for asexuality, and that sport is American as apple pie. I’m talking about baseball.

I have a pretty good reason to be a baseball fan being from the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia. Home of the current World Series Champions! Believe it or not I did not watch the Jimmy Rollins and the Phillies in the World Series, nor did I party in the streets after they won the series. I wasn’t even at the parade. The Phillies victorious season was long overdue, but this epic win did not turn me on to the sport of baseball. I didn’t become a fan until this year.

So what would cause someone to become a fan of a sport if the hometeam taking the big one will not. The way I see it the Phillies could be champions time and time again but some events can undeniably happen only once in history. I’m talking about Harry the K! Harry Kalas, the voice of the Phillies Harry_Kalas__the_voice_by_Elmira8988for my entire lifetime and then some only dies once. Harry was bigger than the team, bigger than baseball really, and died suddenly in the doing what he loved.I made sure to buy tickets to the tribute game as soon as his passing was announced and I’ve been a fan ever since.

Now what does baseball have to do with asexuality? The answer is not very much. I simply feel that asexuals would enjoy baseball over other major sports like football, hockey and basketball. Football is a sport that attracts fans that tend to be extremely overzealous about their particular team. Fans going to NFL games are not received warmly if they sport the opposing team’s jersey, at least not here in Philly where these rogues have been intimidated by the hometown’s fans. Sometimes the jersey is physically removed from the offender by rabid diehards. Football is sexual aggression.

Hockey isn’t much different than football when it comes to the fervor of the fans, however there is the added bonus of frequent fist fights. This is both on the ice as well as in the stands. Basketball? Forget about it!

I know I’m not mentioning soccer, which I respect as the world’s leading sport, but it is not very big in the USA. I know I have readers from Europe and other places across the world and I just felt the need to explain why I didn’t consider soccer. It’s popularity is growing here but it’s not yet a major sport.

Baseball on the other hand is USA’s national pastime, or at least is officially. Football is probably a better sport to represent my country’s current population. Unlike football, baseball fans are tolerant of fans coming to cheer on the visiting team. There may even be some good-natured trash talk going back and forth.

There are many asexuals who are into video games, particularly RPG’s. Baseball, unlike any other sport I know other than rounders, shares a similar gameplay to titles like Final Fantasy and Ultima. In these games members of the party are sent out into battle one by one, each with different attributes. In baseball batters are sent out one by one as well, each player also with different attributes. In both RPGs and baseball, strategy is important in the order that players will take in the “lineup”.

Those are my thoughts on baseball as the perfect sport for asexuality. Thanks for being here!

A bit about myself….I feel it’s necessary to be a revolutionary in everything I do, so be ready for that. Many of my views are based upon religion being reconciled with science, and I’m quite critical of both. My mind is always open, which does nothing but strengthen my beliefs as they are tested like gold against fire. I am not a judgmental person, as I am not to endure the burden of judging my fellow man. I request, though I would never demand, that y’all don’t get snippy when I don’t agree with you 638598% or even just 100%. Get snippy if you want, it’s just a figure of speech really. There’s room for snippiness. There’s room for everything.

So on to the orientation, which begins ironically with the dissection of a word called orientation. The etymology simply means “The East”, which is why I suppose the Old World would refer to anything east of it to be known as “The Orient” or “The Land of the Rising Sun”.

Later in history, the word came to mean to facing east and goes a little later to have certain bearings pertaining to oneself. Of all the definitions, the one that makes the most sense in this instance is to familiarize with new surroundings, which is what I’ll be doing in this initial message. And the surroundings are not new at all, it’s the perception that we experience that is unfamiliar.

I identify as asexual. I am asked is it a choice? It’s deeper than that. Would it really matter either way?

To ask if it is a choice, I would compare to personal taste in music or food. Sure I have a preference, some edibles are more delicious than others, some music I just feel more, however I feel that the mind can be trained in these cases. It is a choice in that respect, albeit an indirect one.

What about this question in regards to spirituality? That is a feeling and conviction that cannot be chosen, at least in my own personal spirituality. I couldn’t go shopping online and choose a new set of beliefs. I could introduce myself to opposing beliefs to challenge my current notion of reality, in fact I have already been doing that for some time already. Gold and fire!

So what’s my description of asexuality? It has to do with lack of sexual attraction, asexuals do not experience it. Many will not understand asexuality, to this patience is a virtue. There will be misconceptions about asexuals. There is an impressive community on the world-wide-web, and real world communities are beginning to form as well. What an exciting time to be an asexual!

Not much is known about asexuality, but one thing that is known is that at least 1% of the population identify as asexual, that’s at least 68 million people worldwide. It’s a much ignored demographic, but that landscape is rapidly changing. There continues to be growing media interest on the subject, and it is important for it to become observable on greater platforms. The asexual population exists everywhere, it simply need to be united. Getting the ball rolling has been the hardest park, and now that there’s momentum the opportunity to capitalize has arrived. This isn’t a one-person event. The efforts of many driven on unity is a force that cannot be stopped without great reinforcements. Humans are the greatest resource, and individual skills vary from person to person, so everyone has unique tools to empower themselves and others. For now, I bid farewell, with promise to return with more of my thoughts and musings. I want to take the time to thank everybody for reading this message. It means a lot.