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Representation is so important to creating asexual awareness. Chances are, if as an ace, one we’re to meet someone and reveal that they are “living without sexuality,” that will be the first interaction that person will have as an ace. The whole engineering of that person’s understanding of asexuality will be based on that one interaction. This is a astronomical quantity of pressure placed on the shoulders of the asexual in question.

Every asexual has characteristics about them that make them interesting outside of asexuality. It is best to reveal these features first before dropping the “A Bomb” and coming out as asexual. Who really wants to be known as “that asexual guy or gal” anyway. Being asexual should be the icing on the cake. Nobody’s going to hand out a gold medal to a persons declaring themselves asexual within one minute of meeting them. Believe me, I was hoping for that gold medal myself, but it just doesn’t happen in reality.

I have a very fortunate situation. My friends all know very well about my being asexual. When we meet a new group of people, eventually someone will ask about my status and one of my BFFs(I have multiple BFFs if that’s allowed) will bring up my asexuality, so I do not have to come out personally in most situations these days. This isn’t something that happened overnight. It took years for this luxury of being a known ace around town to occur.

When talking about asexuality, and I get asked about it a lot, I usually talk about what it means to me and how it shapes my life for a while before moving the conversation to the ace community. It has been very helpful being able to bring up the ace community when talking about the orientation because it let’s whoever I am speaking to understand that I am not some isolated freak of nature but rather a member of a growing group of freaks of nature.

In a few short months I have the honor of speaking on a panel comprised of asexuals at a large health fair being held in my city. People are coming from all over to be part of this and it will easily be the largest group I’ve ever spoken in front of about asexuality. I am confident in my ability to portray asexuality in a positive light and of my knowledge on the subject. All of my experiences thus far have prepared me well for this engagement. It is such a blessing to be able to use the gifts God have bestowed upon me to work towards the ace awareness that I am so passionate about.

I’ve decided to start off 2012 by auditioning for Hot Pieces of Ace. The video is availble from this point onward.

Happy New Year! As another year begins there are more independent asexual projects on the horizon then ever. Let’s take a look at just a few of them to watch for 2012.

Asexual Awareness Week– The second annual awareness campaign is something to be looked forward to. If the timing remains the same the next one will take place the last week in October 2012. This is an international campaign that enjoyed much success the first time around and it would be logical to assume that it would be more successful the following year, 2012.

Because of Asexual Awareness Week 2011, I was able to view an advanced screening of the documentary (A)sexual and meet a few fellow aces in the process. This was only one of many screenings across the United States. This documentary is supposedly going to be available on Netflix sometime in 12′.

Another very useful project part of AAW 11′ would be the Asexual Community Census, which a very impressive 3,436 individuals participated. This census furnished great insight about self-identified asexuals in such categories as asexual spectrum identity, romantic orientation, birth year, gender identity, religious affiliation, ethnicity, nationality, education, attitude towards sex and other criteria.

The committee members of AAW work very hard at what they do and their toils have been fruitful and is a group that is being encouraged to support in 12′.

Aromantic Awesomeness Day– The first annual celebration of Aromantic Awesomeness Day took place on December 3, 2011 with little fanfare. This is understandable as the idea wasn’t proposed until November 1 of that same year.. A little over a month to organize an event isn’t really enough, however there is an abundance of time to prepare for next years event, which falls on a Monday as it will be on Dec 3, 2012.

Let’s hope this year’s event gets more attention as there is much that is not understood about aromanticism which is sometimes considered marginalized within the larger asexual community and of course outside of it as well.

The Asexual News– A relatively new site popping up in early 2011 and having an impressive first year in regards to both quality and the traffic it has garnered in such a brief period. It’s an excellent place for asexual happenings and there is much that has been brought to my attention though this site.

This site is where I first found out about the antique Dear Abby column and the more the recent Dr. Ruth column, both dealing with asexuality. In addition to stories that carry a sensible importance, there are also articles about ace entertainment, lighthearted material and of course cake.

Recently, I joined the writing staff of Asexual News, and while I am not even going to try to keep up with the Double L Lara Landis, I can promise a substantial contribution to the site.

Carnival of Aces– Here’s to this blog carnival continuing throughout 2012, as I am just getting on that bus now with this entry. I intend to participate in this carnival more often, hopefully every month. It would be expected that the quality of carnival topics would continue, so I’m going to enjoy being an active participant

Asexual Infoline– So I’ve decided to create an infoline for asexuality. This is a work in progress, although it is up in running in the “beta mode” sense. It’s something that’s going to be around for a very long time, so it’s not something worth rushing the development of. Give it a call at 215-525-3595 and please be patient for it will eventually be updated on a very regular basis.

These are all exciting endeavors and how fortunate that so many volunteers are willing to sacrifice their time, energy and creativity working towards the “Asexual Manifest Destiny”. Safety and peace be upon you!

In a recent advice column Savage Love, there was a positive response to a seemingly asexual couple. This is a column that is in syndication to weekly newspapers across the country with a heavy following, so it’s good exposure. Asexuality has been mentioned before in this column, but because this is recent, the latest as of “press time” in fact. I feel the responsibility to do a cut and paste job here, along with doing commentary because I don’t feel that nonsexual people would come across the column, even though I have been for a long time. So by isolating the one particular Q&A, those who don’t want to read the entire column are free from that . Anyway here is the situation that a reader wanted advice about from the columnist, Dan Savage about.

In a recent column you wrote, “If you’re not having sex with your boyfriend, or anyone else, and there’s no sex in your foreseeable future, ANB, that’s not monogamy—that’s celibacy.” I have been with my girlfriend for nine years, living together for seven. We have never had sex. At the beginning we fooled around a lot, but never went far. Now, like many couples who have been together for a while, the frequency has decreased. We go beyond kissing a few times a year, and never all that far. I am mostly okay with this: I take care of myself as necessary. We never talk about sex at all. We’ve moved back and forth across the country together and are otherwise committed. Is it ridiculous to leave sex out of the relationship?

Sexless And Seemingly Content

The couple seems asexual to me, though they obviously don’t know that there are others like them out there and that there is a lifestyle called Asexuality. The man that is asking for advice probably wouldn’t have written Savage had he known of Asexuality. While many of us experience an amazing liberation when we discover Asexuality, we also find difficulty finding an asexual partner. This situation is inverted with Asexuality as a lifestyle being unknown, while they have already both found an asexual partner in each other. I wonder how they would feel to learn of Asexuality together. Not only would they both feel the liberation asexuals like myself have felt, they would have someone to share it with that they already have a deep emotional bond with. Let’s see what Dan has to say and hopefully I didn’t outshine him…

If you’re happy and your girlfriend’s happy, SASC, then I’m happy. Two people in a bad relationship can have plenty of great sex; two people in a great relationship can have little sex or no sex. Sex is a metric for assessing the health of a relationship, but it’s not the only one. When two people come together who love each other and are compatible sexually—which can mean a shared interest in sex or a shared disinterest in sex—the angels sing, SASC. All that matters, again, is that you’re both happy.

This is well put and reassuring, although it would have been helpful for it to be mentioned that there is an asexual community as the columnist definitely is aware of it as he’s covered it before had even had at least one guest columnist who identified as asexual. Dan Savage continues…

But are you happy, SASC? You say that you are, and I’ll take your word for it, but there’s a lot of wiggle room in the “mostly” in this sentence: “I am mostly okay with this.” You owe it to yourself to determine if you are really and truly okay with living without sex—and if the girlfriend is too.

While this isn’t bad advice as it is crucial to value and understand the other person in a relationship as much as possible, I sense a little doubt from Dan that a couple could be happy living this way, but I really can’t get upset for someone giving advice that he was solicited for in an advice column that I may or may not choose to read. I believe that SASC was simply looking for validation of his lifestyle with his girlfriend, and instead of steering them and anyone else reading in the direction of the asexual community, he choose not to even mention Asexuality at all. I’m simply disappointed at the route the columnist chose to take, although I am thankful for the question making it to print and the reaction being “mostly” positive.